Author: Dale Carnegie
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| via Amazon |
How to Win Friends and Influence People is a self-help classic. First published in 1930, its advice still has merit nearly a century later. What's more, many of the books I've read in the genre obviously mimic its structure and its persuasive elements. Anecdotal evidence - as opposed to anything backed by data - abounds. The style is conversational, engaging and, despite my skepticism going in, quite convincing.
Carnegie got his start in this biz teaching public speaking and eventually expanded to create a series of workshops to help people work more effectively with others. In truth, his advice isn't complicated: listen to people, be positive rather than critical, prop people up rather than shooting them down, be sincere. I can attest that at least some of it works because, even though I didn't learn it from Carnegie, I already use some of his principles. One I use and and encourage others to use: if you can, when making a proposal to a superior/customer/client/spouse/whomever, always present it as a solution to their problem rather than your own. People hear you differently when they feel you've considered their point of view. Some of the advice can come across as manipulative but the sincerity is key to making it work.
So, since I know some of it works, I see no reason not to give his other ideas a shot. My industry, education, is as political as ever and effectively advocating for yourself, your program, your students, your professional community, your right to exist is a vital skill for any teacher. I have nothing to lose by trying new tactics. So, I'm likely to keep the book around for a while.
Carnegie writes a lot about his inter-personal skill heroes. Abe Lincoln's his favorite, though he also refers a lot to Andrew Carnegie (no relation), Ralph Waldo Emerson and Teddy Roosevelt. Given the time of origin, it's not surprising that attitudes towards gender roles and mental illness are rather dated. Somewhat jarringly, he includes an inspiring story about Stevie Wonder. Dale Carnegie died in 1955. How does he know about a pop star who was only five years old at that time? Well, as his former wife explains in the forward, the book has been updated numerous times since, even after his death.
Anyway, it's a fun read - better than I was expecting. And it might even prove useful.
I have a huge blocker about this kind of stuff.
ReplyDeleteI can see the merit it has in dealing with people.
BUT I have a fundamental belief that it shouldn't be necessary because people should just do the things that they should do.
yeah yeah, I know.
I get it. Interestingly, there's a cynical perspective on Carnegie's advice. He is basically encouraging people to prey upon the vanities of others. I can vouch for it: that mindset is bloody effective. And he's right, sincerity matters. Otherwise, you're just a used car salesman.
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