Friday, July 28, 2017

Cephalopod Coffeehouse: July 2017

Welcome one and all to the Cephalopod Coffeehouse, a cozy gathering of book lovers, meeting to discuss their thoughts regarding the works they enjoyed most over the previous month.  Pull up a chair, order your cappuccino and join in the fun.  If you wish to add your own review to the conversation, please sign on to the link list at the end of my post.

Title: Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes Are High
Authors: Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler
via Amazon
I think it's fair to say that the school district where I work is struggling at the moment.  Turnover has been high at both the administrative and faculty levels.  An atmosphere of mistrust - festering for decades - has reached near toxic levels.  Even summer hasn't given us much of a break from the troubles.  Yup, we're in rough shape.

Administration gave us a book to read over the summer.  It was not required.  It was suggested.  It's a book about improving your communication skills.  Just as there was a couple years ago when we were required to read Mindset (read here), there has been resistance in the ranks.

"How dare they give us this book to read.  They're the ones who can't communicate."  And so on.  You know how it goes.  I was always going to read it but even I went into it with a pessimistic attitude, thinking maybe it might provide ammunition in a difficult meeting one day.

The truth is, the book's actually quite good.  The authors are business consultants who have spent years watching successful people, dissecting what they do differently from everyone else.  Their thesis: everyone has crucial conversations in their lives, both personal and professional.  The people who stand out are the ones who handle those conversations effectively.

According to the authors, a crucial conversation is one in which opinions vary, stakes are high and emotions run strong.  In education, such conversations happen all the time: teacher-student, teacher-admin, teacher-colleague, teacher-parent, student-student, student-bus driver, etc.  The book offers several tactics they have found to be effective in these tense situations.  Each chapter focuses on a particular skill.  For example:
  • Chapter 3: Start with Heart, How to Stay Focused on What You Really Want
  • Chapter 5: Make It Safe, How to Make It Safe to Talk About Almost Anything
  • Chapter 8: Explore Others' Paths, How to Listen When Others Blow Up or Clam Up
In the midst of reading the book, I attended a school board meeting and realized the deep levels of dysfunction we're currently experiencing.  The book's recommendations are good ones.  I am hopeful that at least a few of my colleagues will set their resentments aside and give it a go.  In all honesty, our communication difficulties predate our current troubles by decades, probably generations.  I am at a point in my own career where I'm starting to seriously ponder future leadership roles for myself and I expect the principles outlined in the book to be highly useful - both in considering if that's what I really want and in preparing myself to do the work.  It's a book I'll share with others and keep around for reference.  Relationships are everything in education - truly, in life.  How could one not want ideas about how to improve them?

Please join us and share your own review of your best read from the past month.  This month's link list is below.  I'll keep it open until the end of the day.  I'll post August's tomorrow.  Meetings are the last Friday of each month.  Next gathering is August 25th.


18 comments:

  1. Interesting! I'm sorry to hear things are troubled in your schools, there. I'm preparing for licensure in Illinois--to teach in Chicago, and it's a fraught situation. I wish you all the best.
    V

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    1. Thanks. Unfortunately, it's all part of the job. Our district is in a rough patch now but everyone goes through them. Books like this give me hope.

      Chicago public schools, ay? Good for you. I wish you loads of luck.

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  2. Sounds like my school district as well. Wish someone would write a book explaining that teachers ought to be included in, at least the discussions, that end up determining all the policies that we'll be forced to implement and or enforce, but I'm getting off topic. Glad the book had some helpful information for you. Communication is a major struggle in my workplace, but I think we need a book more on "how to communicate and not judge". No pointing fingers here; we all need that.

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    1. Actually, I think you'd get a lot out of this book.

      We're dealing with power sharing issues, too. I hope you and your colleagues find a satisfying resolution.

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  3. Being the expert communicator that I am... :D
    It sounds interesting. I'm putting it on my list to take a look at.

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  4. Have you ever been to Mars? well I'm taking a trip there right now - through Red Mars, Robinsons masterpiece of science with a epic story. Id forgotten how good it was, believe me communications they matter Big Style when your going to Mars.

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    1. Sounds fun. You should join us again next month. I would love to learn more about Mars.

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  5. Unfortunately, I think that is true in a lot of cases.

    I'm not a teacher, but I actually have an interview to teach in China. Would you recommend this book for those who are going abroad to teach?

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    1. Yes! Though you will find Chinese rules of conversation to be quite different, the basics of managing yourself, listening and evaluating the situation are applicable anywhere.

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  6. Thanks for this. I am always eager to learn more about effective communication. It's such an underrated skill yet my god how important?

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  7. Sounds like a great source of information.

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  8. Maybe now that you've read it and can recommend it with a clear mind, others will follow suit and read it? Hopefully! Sounds like it was a very useful read.

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    1. I think I have at least convinced Drama Guy to read it.

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  9. I am glad the reading was worthwhile. It sounds like a topic that most people could benefit from reading about. I know it can be frustrating when administrators give teachers books to read over the summer (based on teacher friends)- but hopefully the administrators are reading the book too and working on their skills. I know sometimes the books that are given over the summer aren't the best, so it is nice when one of them proves to be helpful. I hope things start to improve in your school district soon!
    ~Jess

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